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Golf Quotations
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~ When you hear someone shout "You da man," if he ain't shouting at Arnold Palmer, then it ain't da man ~


~ Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle. ~


~ What's nice about our tour is you can't remember your bad shots. ~


~ If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~


~ The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has ~


~ I don't like watching golf on TV. I can't stand whispering ~


~ One almost expects one of the players to peer into the monitor and politely request viewers to refrain from munching so loudly on cheese and crackers while the golfers are trying to reach the greens. ~


~ Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable. ~


~ All I've got against it is that it takes you so far from the clubhouse ~


~ Baseball players quit playing and they take up golf. Basketball players quit, take up golf. Football players quit, take up golf. What are we supposed to take up when we quit? ~


~ It's good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling. ~


~ Golf is an ineffectual attempt to put an elusive ball into an obscure hole with implements ill-adapted to the purpose. ~


~ Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~


~ If you call on God to improve the results of a shot while it is still in motion, you are using "an outside agency" and subject to appropriate penalties under the rules of golf. ~


~ The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. ~


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