The fun you get from golf is in direct ratio to the effort you don't put into it.
We have fifty-one golf courses in Palm Springs. He(Gerald Ford) never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot...At least he can't cheat on his score- because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded
You can't lose an old golf ball
Indeed, the highest pleasure of golf may be that on the fairways and far from all the pressures of commerce and rationality, we can feel immortal for a few hours
When he gets the ball into a tough place, that's when he's most relaxed. I think it's because he has so much experience at it
A professional will tell you the amount of flex you need in the shaft of your club. The more the flex, the more strength you will need to break the thing over your knees
There are three ways of learning golf: by study, which is the most wearisome; by imitation, which is the most fallacious; and by experience, which is the most bitter.
Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well
I'd like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me
Everybody has two swings-a beautiful practice swing and the choked-up one with which they hit the ball. So it wouldn't do either of us a damned bit of good to look at your practice swing
If your caddie coaches you on the tee, 'Hit it down the left side with a little draw,' ignore him. All you do on the tee is try not to hit the caddie.
Always throw your clubs ahead of you. That way you don't have to waste energy going back to pick them up
Always keep in mind that if God didn't want a man to have mulligans, golf balls wouldn't come three to a sleeve
Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course, the space between your ears
Actually, the only time I ever took out a one iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a seven to do that.
Happiness is a long walk with a putter.
Playing golf is just like going to a strip club. You're all revved up, ready to go. But three hours later, you're depressed, plastered, and most of your balls are missing
Golf is an easy game...It's just hard to play
Golf is a sport in which the ball lies poorly but the player well
They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated than that.
In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language
Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.
The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
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