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~ As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. ~
~ Golf always makes me so damned angry ~
~ Focus on remedies, not faults ~
~ Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose ~
~ Gimme: an agreement between two losers who can't putt ~
~ One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. No matter what you shoot, the next day you have to go back to the first tee and begin all over again and make yourself into something. ~
~ It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course ~
~ One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. ~
~ He's as good at his age as Jack (Nicklaus) was, and look at what Jack has done in the gime of golf. That's the highest praise I can give anyone, to compare him to Jack Nicklaus. ~
~ The greens are harder than a whore's heart ~
~ How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now ~
~ Golf is a game in which you yell "Fore!", shoot six, and write down five ~
~ I'm getting so old, I don't even buy green bananas anymore ~
~ Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course...the space between your ears ~
~ He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie ~
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