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~ The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight ~
~ How about a little noise. How do you expect a man to putt? ~
~ I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced ~
~ Golf is an open exhibition of overweening ambition, courage deflated by stupidity, skill soured by a whiff of arrogance ~
~ President Bush played golf yesterday and I understand Vice President Dick Cheney also got in a couple of strokes ~
~ I love it Practicing in Texas. You can find anything. You can practice rain, you can practice wind, you can practice on hard pan, you can practice on lush gold courses, you can find all the conditions you will ever encounter in Texas ~
~ The only reason I played golf was so that I could afford to go hunting and fishing ~
~ There isn't a flaw in his golf or his makeup. He will win more majors than Arnold Palmer and me combined. Somebody is going to dust my records. It might as well be Tiger, because he's such a great kid. ~
~ It was a hole in one contest and I had a three ~
~ Jack Nicklaus was the first to bring in course management. He could go to a course and tell you within one stroke what was going to win. He used to set his sights on that because he could shoot it. He was the only player I know who, if he decided he wanted to win a tournament, could go out and do it. No one will ever be as popular as Arnold Palmer and no one will ever come close to Jack as a player ~
~ You have to understand, I don't play golf for fun. It's my business. When the mailman starts delivering mail on his off day, that's when I'll start playing golf for the hell of it. I like to play in tournaments. There are many great courses around the world that I have never played that are next door to tournaments. I have not played them because I don't play for fun ~
~ Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don't you? ~
~ I couldn't wait for the sun to come up the next morning so that I could get out on the course again. ~
~ I did envisage being this successful as a player, but not all the hysteria around it off the golf course ~
~ Years ago I had a 1-iron I could hit 260 yards through a doorway. Now I can hit it through the keyhole ~
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