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Golf Quotations
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~ Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than nineteen years of dealing with him across the desk ~


~ The fundamental problem with golf is that every so often, no matter how lacking you may be in the essential virtues required of a steady player, the odds are that one day you will hit the ball straight, hard, and out of sight. This is the essential frustration of this excruciating sport. For when you've done it once, you make the fundamental error of asking yourself why you can't do this all the time. The answer to this question is simple: the first time was a fluke ~


~ Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good. Unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off. ~


~ When I'm on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one iron, 'caus I know even God can't hit a one iron ~


~ I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine ~


~ Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at ~


~ Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee, who has a deep suntan, a one iron in his bag and squinty eyes. ~


~ The golf swing is like sex. You can't be thinking about the mechanics of the act while you are performing ~


~ Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club don't you? ~


~ You don't know what pressure is until you've played for five dollars a hole with only two in your pocket ~


~ Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net you absolutely nothing but an ulcer ~


~ "I play with friends, but we don't play friendly games. ~


~ Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money. ~


~ Golf is 90 percent inspiration and 10 percent perspiration ~


~ The number one thing about trouble is...don't get into more ~


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