Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious
P.G. Wodehouse
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: it's called an eraser.
Arnold Palmer
Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course - the distance between your ears.
Bobby Jones
I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.
Ben Crenshaw
Golf is like a love affair. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart.
Arthur Daley
Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can't play it.
Ted Ray
The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes
Michael Green
It's easy to see golf not as a game at all but as some whey-faced, nineteenth-century Presbyterian minister's fever dream of exorcism achieved through ritual and self-mortification.
Bruce McCall
Forget your opponents; always play against par.
Sam Snead
If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is
Horace G. Hutchinson
They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.
Gardner Dickinson
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies
Will Rogers
If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death
Sam Snead