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~ I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105 ~
 ~ Swinging at daisies is like playing electric guitar with a tennis racket: if it were that easy, we could all be Jerry Garcia. The ball changes everything. ~
~ The trouble that most of us find with the modern matched sets of clubs is that they don't really seem to know any more about the game than the old ones did. ~
~ Golf is the cruelest of sports. Like life, it's unfair. It's a harlot. A trollop. It leads you on. It never lives up to its promises.... It's a boulevard of broken dreams. It plays with men. And runs off with the butcher. ~
~ Golf is an open exhibition of overweening ambition, courage deflated by stupidity, skill scoured by a whiff of arrogance ~
~ Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt. ~
~ But you don't have to go up in the stands and play your foul balls. I do ~
~ The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil. ~
~ The average golfer doesn't play golf. He attacks it ~
~ The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows. ~
~ Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture ~
~ Yeah, after each of my downhill putts. ~
~ To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly ~
~ I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play. ~
~ Golf without mistakes is like watching haircuts. A dinner without wine. ~
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Golf Quotes
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