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~ I'd like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everyone would have to play from the rough, not just me ~
~ The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf ~
~ The Green Bay Packers never lost a football game. They just ran out of time ~
~ Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket ~
~ You must play boldly to win ~
~ Golf is like life in a lot of ways - All the biggest wounds are self-inflicted ~
~ Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing ~
~ Golf is not a fair game, so why build a course fair? ~
~ An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging ~
~ What a shame to waste those great shots on the practice tee ~
~ By the time you get dressed, drive out there, play 18 holes and come home, you've blown seven hours. There are better things you can do with your time ~
~ A great deal of unnecessarily bad golf is played in this world ~
~ The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life ~
~ When Lee and Jack win, it is good for golf. When I win, it is better ~
~ Don Quixote would understand golf. It is the impossible dream ~
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