Golf Quotes :: Finest Quotes

Who watches golf on TV? Who calls eight friends over and gets a keg of beer? Landscapers, I guess. They sit around the TV, yelling, "Will you look at that golf path? Pure pea gravel."

Jeff Cesario

A hole in one is amazing when you think of the different universes this white mass of molecules has to pass through on its way to the hole.

Mac O\'Grady

Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five

Paul Harvey

In golf, you keep your head down and follow through. In the vice presidency, you keep your head up and follow through. It's a big difference.

Dan Quayle

You can't call it a sport. You don't run, jump, you don't shoot, you don't pass. All you have to do is buy some clothes that don't match.

Steve Sax

One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water

Lee Trevino

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps

Tiger Woods

It's so bad I could putt off a tabletop and still leave the ball halfway down the leg.

J.C. Snead,

Any game where a man 60 can beat a man 30 ain't no game

Burt Shotten

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

Lee Trevino

Golf is not just an exercise; it's an adventure, a romance... a Shakespeare play in which disaster and comedy are intertwined.

Harold Segall

The worst club in my bag is my brain.

Chris Perry

Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.

Robin Williams

Golf is hockey at the halt.

Arthur Marshall

There is one thing in this world that is dumber than playing golf. That is watching someone else playing golf. What do you actually get to see? Thirty-seven guys in polyester slacks squinting at the sun. Doesn't that set your blood racing?

Peter Andrews

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law

H.G. Wells

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.

Ernest Hemingway

One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball.

Don Carter

I'm a golfaholic, no question about that. Counseling wouldn't help me. They'd have to put me in prison, and then I'd talk the warden into building a hole or two and teach him how to play.

Lee Trevino

A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well.

Unknown

Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf, and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.

Jack Benny

Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well.

Art Rosenbaum

One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.

George Archer

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards

Al Boliska

If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him

Bob Hope

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