Golf Quotes :: Finest Quotes

Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.

"After all, golf is only a game," said Millicent. Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean that there is a kink in their character. They simply don't realise what they are saying

P.G. Wodehouse,

When I putt, my emotions collide like tectonic plates. It's left my memory circuits full of scars that won't heal

Mac O\'Grady

Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitudes of measurements it invites the attention of perfectionists

Heywood Hale Broun

His driving is unbelievable. I don't go that far on my holidays.

Ian Baker-Finch

John certainly gives it a good hit, doesn't he? My Sunday best is a Wednesday afternoon compared to him.

Nick Faldo

I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt.

Chi Chi Rodriguez

Golf seems to me an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dogs out.

Princess Anne

If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf

Percey Boomer

When you hear someone shout "You da man," if he ain't shouting at Arnold Palmer, then it ain't da man

Ron Green

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.

Unknown

What's nice about our tour is you can't remember your bad shots.

Bob Bruce

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

Jack Lemmon

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has

Will Rogers

I don't like watching golf on TV. I can't stand whispering

David Brenner

One almost expects one of the players to peer into the monitor and politely request viewers to refrain from munching so loudly on cheese and crackers while the golfers are trying to reach the greens.

Pete Alfano

Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable.

A.P. Herbert

All I've got against it is that it takes you so far from the clubhouse

Eric Linklater

Baseball players quit playing and they take up golf. Basketball players quit, take up golf. Football players quit, take up golf. What are we supposed to take up when we quit?

George Archer

A golf course outside a big town serves an excellent purpose in that it segregates, as though a concentration camp, all the idle and idiot well-to-do

Osbert Sitwell

It's good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling.

Mark Twain

Golf is an ineffectual attempt to put an elusive ball into an obscure hole with implements ill-adapted to the purpose.

Woodrow Wilson

Find a man with both feet firmly on the ground and you've found a man about to make a difficult putt

Fletcher Knebel

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.

Jimmy DeMaret

If you call on God to improve the results of a shot while it is still in motion, you are using "an outside agency" and subject to appropriate penalties under the rules of golf.

Henry Longhurst

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