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~ Forget your opponents; always play against par. ~
 ~ If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death ~
~ What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive. ~
~ If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. ~
~ Golf is a good walk spoiled. ~
~ They throw their clubs backwards, and that's wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don't have to walk any extra distance to get it. ~
~ If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. ~
~ I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced. ~
~ Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks ~
~ If I can hit a curveball, why can't I hit a ball that is standing still on a course? ~
~ Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom. ~
~ A passion, an obsession, a romance, a nice acquaintanceship with trees, sand, and water. ~
~ Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for
being on grass ~
~ I'd play every day if I could. It's cheaper than a shrink and there are no telephones on my golf cart. ~
~ Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course ~
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Golf Quotes
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