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Golf Quotations
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~ My handicap? Woods and irons. ~


~ Even God has to practice his putting ~


~ If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron ~


~ Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. ~


~ Play it as it lies" is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. The other is "Wear it if it clashes ~


~ I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there ~


~ It is more satisfying to be a bad player at golf. The worse you play, the better you remember the occasional good shot. ~


~ After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye ~


~ Playing the game I have learned the meaning of humility. It has given me an understanding of futility of the human effort. ~


~ It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. ~


~ One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. No matter what you shoot - the next day you have to go back to the first tee and begin all over again and make yourself into something ~


~ You are meant to play the ball as it lies, a fact that may help to touch on your own objective approach to life. ~


~ Golf isn't like other sports where you can take a player out if he's having a bad day. You have to play the whole game ~


~ Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around. ~


~ Golf is essentially an exercise in masochism conducted out-of-doors. ~


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