Golf is an open exhibition of overweening ambition, courage deflated by stupidity, skill soured by a whiff of arrogance
President Bush played golf yesterday and I understand Vice President Dick Cheney also got in a couple of strokes
I love it Practicing in Texas. You can find anything. You can practice rain, you can practice wind, you can practice on hard pan, you can practice on lush gold courses, you can find all the conditions you will ever encounter in Texas
Golf is not sacred, and there is no use getting so gosh-darned solemn about it
Most people play a fair game of golf - If you watch them
Golf is the only sport that a professional can enjoy playing with his friends. Can Larry Holmes enjoy fighting one of his friends?
There isn't a flaw in his golf or his makeup. He will win more majors than Arnold Palmer and me combined. Somebody is going to dust my records. It might as well be Tiger, because he's such a great kid.
It was a hole in one contest and I had a three
Jack Nicklaus was the first to bring in course management. He could go to a course and tell you within one stroke what was going to win. He used to set his sights on that because he could shoot it. He was the only player I know who, if he decided he wanted to win a tournament, could go out and do it. No one will ever be as popular as Arnold Palmer and no one will ever come close to Jack as a player
You have to understand, I don't play golf for fun. It's my business. When the mailman starts delivering mail on his off day, that's when I'll start playing golf for the hell of it. I like to play in tournaments. There are many great courses around the world that I have never played that are next door to tournaments. I have not played them because I don't play for fun
Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don't you?
I couldn't wait for the sun to come up the next morning so that I could get out on the course again.
I did envisage being this successful as a player, but not all the hysteria around it off the golf course
Years ago I had a 1-iron I could hit 260 yards through a doorway. Now I can hit it through the keyhole
Yeah, but I'll be working as a marshal. I'll be helping your team find all the balls they drive into the rough
The thing is, you see all the money that's available out there. I see where am I going to play. I have no place to play yet. I'm not exempt. I have no security. So if I don't turn pro and I don't make it out here, where am I going to go? Nike? Hooters? Asia? Anywhere but here, I guess
We tournament golfers are much overrated. We get paid to much
Many men are more faithful to their golf partners than to their wives and have stuck with them longer.
A gimme can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers neither of whom can putt very well
Never give a golfer an ultimatum unless you're prepared to lose
If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him
I don't like to watch golf on television because I can't stand people who whisper
My best score ever is 103, but I've only been playing 15 years
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