You can't call it a sport. You don't run, jump, you don't shoot, you don't pass. All you have to do is buy some clothes that don't match.
Steve Sax
One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water
Lee Trevino
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps
Tiger Woods
Golf is not just an exercise; it's an adventure, a romance... a Shakespeare play in which disaster and comedy are intertwined.
Harold Segall
Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
Robin Williams
There is one thing in this world that is dumber than playing golf. That is watching someone else playing golf. What do you actually get to see? Thirty-seven guys in polyester slacks squinting at the sun. Doesn't that set your blood racing?
Peter Andrews
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law
H.G. Wells
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.
Ernest Hemingway
I'm a golfaholic, no question about that. Counseling wouldn't help me. They'd have to put me in prison, and then I'd talk the warden into building a hole or two and teach him how to play.
Lee Trevino
A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well.
Unknown