Double or nothing down the last hole?
I wasn't there long enough to hear them say what they were
This place Augusta National rejects me like a skin transplant.
The fairways were so narrow you had to walk down them single file
Why do we work so hard to feel so terrible
Hey, is this room out of bounds?
It's a little bit disheartening that here we have the biggest first prize in the golf world and half the guys don't turn up
I think I fail a bit less than everyone else.
Essentially, he has been retired since he was 21
I've always made a total effort, even when the odds seemed entirely against me. I never quit trying; I never felt that I didn't have a chance to win
As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round
A lot of guys who have have never choked, have never been in the position to do so
I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them
Golf is an ideal diversion, but a ruinous disease
Golf is twenty percent mechanics and technique. The other eighty percent is philosophy, humor, tragedy, romance, melodrama, companionship, camaraderie, cussedness, and conversation
It's the most fun I've had with my clothes on.
The only shots you can be sure of are those you've had already.
Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it
Golf is good walk spoiled
My game is so bad I gotta hire three caddies- one to walk the left rough, one for the right, and one for the middle. And the one in the middle doesn't have much to do.
We speak of eyeball-to-eyeball encounters between men great and small. Even more reaching and revealing of character is the eyeball-to-golfball confrontation, whereby our most secret natures are mercilessly tested by a small, round, whitish object with no mind or will but with a very definite life of its own, and with whims perverse and beatific
Be funny on a golf course? Do I kid my best friend's mother about her heart condition?
The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing
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