golf Quotes

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five

John Updike

Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it's wrong but you can't keep away from her

Val Doonican

Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Unknown

A game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood.

Unknown

"It is a hopeless endeavour to unite the contrarieties of spring and winter; it is unjust to claim the priveleges of age, and retain the play- things of childhood,"

Samuel Johnson

The sport of choice for the urban poor is basketball. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling. The sport of choice for front-line workers is football. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball. The sport of choice for middle management is tennis. The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf. Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

Unknown

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit.

Unknown

Golf is life. If you can't take golf, you can't take life.

Unknown

If your opponent is playing several shots in vain attempts to extricate himself from a bunker, do not stand near him and audibly count his strokes. It would be justifiable homicide if he wound up his pitiable exhibition by applying his niblick to your head.

Harry Vardon

Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course

Lee Trevino

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And it took a seven to do that.

Jim Murray

I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them

Harry Toscano

I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don't put the right address on it.

Jim Dent

Some of us worship in churches, some in synagogues, some on golf courses.

Adlai Stevenson

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.

Gerald Ford

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

Chi Chi Rodriguez

A golf course is nothing but a poolroom moved outdoors

Barry Fitzgerald

I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105

Bob Hope

Swinging at daisies is like playing electric guitar with a tennis racket: if it were that easy, we could all be Jerry Garcia. The ball changes everything.

Michael Bamberger

I remember when I first came out on the Tour. I was hitting practice balls and Sam Snead and Bob Goalby were next to me. Snead said, 'Who in the hell is this guy? He has a loud mouth and an unorthodox swing.' Goalby said, 'Don't worry Sam, he'll linger but he won't last

Lee Trevino

I'm hitting the woods just great ....but having a terrible time getting out of them!

Unknown

May thy ball lie in green pastures .... and not in still waters.

Unknown

One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them.

Unknown

On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied

Bruce Lansky

7 Habits of Highly Resilient People

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Updated On : November 01, 2008
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