I'm a golfaholic, no question about that. Counseling wouldn't help me. They'd have to put me in prison, and then I'd talk the warden into building a
hole or two and teach him how to play.
A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well.
Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf, and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well.
One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.
Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards
If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him
Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.
"After all, golf is only a game," said Millicent. Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean that there is a kink in their character.
They simply don't realise what they are saying
Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitudes of measurements it invites the attention of perfectionists
His driving is unbelievable. I don't go that far on my holidays.
John certainly gives it a good hit, doesn't he? My Sunday best is a Wednesday afternoon compared to him.
I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt.
Golf seems to me an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dogs out.
If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf
When you hear someone shout "You da man," if he ain't shouting at Arnold Palmer, then it ain't da man
Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.
What's nice about our tour is you can't remember your bad shots.
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has
I don't like watching golf on TV. I can't stand whispering
One almost expects one of the players to peer into the monitor and politely request viewers to refrain from munching so loudly on cheese and crackers while the golfers are trying to reach the greens.
Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable.
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