This is my Peter - uh, my friend Peter. We just met at the, uh, intersexual... homosection... INTERSECTION!
Howard Brackett
I just came out! At my wedding!
Howard Brackett
I need a heterosexual male, CODE RED!
Emily Montgomery
Is everybody gay? Is this a Twilight Zone?
Emily Montgomery
For God's sake, don't shake that booty!
Voice on How To Be a Man tape
Think of John Wayne, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold doesn't dance, he can hardly walk.
Voice on How To Be a Man tape
Truly manly men do NOT dance.
Voice on How To Be a Man tape
Well, how did you do... prissy boy?
Voice on How To Be a Man tape
This is Cameron's first nomination and he's in extremely good company. Tonight he joins fellow best actor nominee Paul Newman for "Coot", Clint Eastwood for "Codger", Michael Douglas for "Primary Urges" and Steven Seagal for "Snowball in Hell".
Glenn Close
Maybe I should thank someone else. Someone who's really been there, someone who taught me a lot, about poetry and Shakespeare, and just, y'know, stayin' awake, man. Someone who's just an overall great guy, a great teacher... to Howard Brackett from Greenleaf, Indiana! And he's gay. Y'know, I've been thinking alot about this night, and I've decided to dedicate this whole night to a great, gay teacher. Mr. Brackett, WE WON!
Cameron
He used to mow our lawn. Never again.
Frank Brackett
A teacher in trouble. A town under siege. A journey to the heartland. Stay tuned.
Peter Malloy
I need that wedding. I need some beauty and some music and some placecards before I die. It's like heroin.
Berniece
Should gays be allowed to handle fresh produce?
Reporter
I don't have time. I promised to do that photo shoot this afternoon. I have to shower and vomit!
Sonja