You see the world through John Malkovich's eyes. Then after about 15 minutes, you're spit out into a ditch on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike!
Craig Schwartz
Do you see what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is?
Craig Schwartz
Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintry economic climate.
Craig Schwartz
Do you have any idea what it's like to have two people look at you, with total lust and devotion, through the same pair of eyes?
Maxine Lund
Behind the stubble and the too-prominent brow and the male-pattern baldness... I sensed your feminine longing. And it just slew me.
Maxine Lund
Help! He's locking me in a cage!
Lotte Schwartz
Don't stand in the way of my actualization as a man.
Lotte Schwartz
I have been to the dark side. I have seen a world that no man should see.
John Malkovich
That portal is mine, and it must be sealed forever.
John Malkovich
It's my head, Schwartz! It's my head!
John Malkovich
Truth is for suckers, Johnny Boy.
Charlie Sheen
Maybe she's using you to channel some dead lesbian lover.
Charlie Sheen
You're nuts to let a girl go that calls you Lotte, I tell you that as a friend.
Charlie Sheen
Forever doomed to watch the world through someone else's eyes.
Dr. Lester