Quotes from the Movie Dragnet

I don't care what undercover rock you crawled out from, there's a dress code for detectives in Robbery-Homicide. Section 3-605. 10. 20. 22. 24. 26. 50. 70. 80. It specifies: clean shirt, short hair, tie, pressed trousers, sports jacket or suit, and leather shoes, preferably with a high shine on them.

Joe Friday

I'm well aware of the federally mandated speed limit, Streebeck. But did it ever occur to you that, by going 8 miles an hour slower, we might save some gasoline and ease the burden on the poor taxpayers out there who pay our salaries?

Joe

No, ma'am. They're quite impressive... bordering on spectacular.

Joe

Ma'am, what is the approximate dry weight of the average Madagascan fruit tree bat?

Joe

Ah, sure. But just like every other foaming, rabid psycho in this city with a foolproof plan. You've forgotten you're facing single finest fighting force ever assembled.

Joe

Try the decent, hard-working men and women of Los Angeles!

Joe

Now let me tell you something, Streebeck. There are two things that clearly differentiate the human species from animals. One, we use cutlery. Two, we're capable of controlling our sexual urges. Now, you might be an exception, but don't drag me down in your private Hell.

Joe

Not that it's any of your business, Mr. National Enquirer, but I spent a quiet evening in the company of Connie Swail.

Joe

And if I may a toast... to Granny Mundy: may you live as long as you want but never want as long as you live.

Pep Streebeck

Thank God it's Friday!

Pep Streebeck

You know, uh. Friday, we're allowed to go 55... On some occasions, even faster.

Pep

Friday, a little extra gas isn't going to put the city in hock; besides, this looks bad! Come on, live a little - it's the vertical pedal on the right.

Pep

You mean you don't know?

Pep

You know the kinds of things that can fall into an industrial sausage press? Not excluding rodent hairs and... bug excrement?

Pep

Are you crazy? Silvia Wiss wanted you!

Pep