Quotes from the Movie Dodgeball

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!

Patches O\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'Houlihan

Just remember the five D's of dodgeball: "Dodge", "Duck", "Dip", "Dive", and..."Dodge".

Patches O Houlihan

Line up Ladies!!

Patches O Houlihan

Son, you're about as useful as a poopie-flavoured lollipop!

Patches O Houlihan

Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No! But I do it anyway, 'cause it's sterile and I like the taste.

Patches O Houlihan

Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No! But I do it anyway, 'cause it's sterile and I like the taste.

Patches O Houlihan

It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob out there!

Patches O Houlihan

Oh my sweet dick, it's magic.

Patches O Houlihan

I ain't crazy, and I ain't a guy!

Patches O Houlihan

Take care of your balls and they'll take care of you.

Patches O Houlihan

If you want dodgeball victory you gotta grab it by its haunches and h..h..hump it into submission, that's the only way.

Patches O Houlihan

Remember, dodgeball is a sport of violence, exclusion and degradation. So, when you're picking players in gym class, remember to pick the bigger, stronger players for your team. That way you can gang up on the weaker ones, like Winston here.

Patches O Houlihan

They must masturbate a lot, Cotton.

Pepper

I feel like I'm watching a Cher video, Cotton.

Pepper

Effin A, Cotton. Effin AAAAAAA!

Pepper