Look at that, Abu! It's not every day you see a horse with two rear ends!
Aladdin
That two-faced son of a jackal!
Aladdin
Just go jump off a balcony!
Jasmine
How dare you, ALL of you! Standing around, deciding MY future! I am NOT a prize to be won!
Jasmine
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Oi! TEN THOUSAND YEARS will give you SUCH a crick in the neck!
Genie
Hello, Aladdin. Nice to have you on the show. Can we call you "Al?" Or maybe just "Din?" Or how 'bout "Laddi?" Sounds like [as a Scottsman calling a dog] "Here, boy! C'mon, Laddi!"
Genie
Do you smoke? Mind if I do?
Genie
Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master. Either that or I'm gettin' bigger. Look at me from the side - do I look different to you?
Genie
What would you wish of me, the ever-impressive, looooong contaaaaaaiiined, often-imitated, but never duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated... GENIE! OF! THE LAAAAAAAAMP! Right here, direct from the lamp, right here for your enjoyment/wish-fulfillment. Thank youuuuuu!
Genie
Three wishes to be exact, and ixnay on the wishing for more wishes! That's it. Three. Uno, dos, tres. [as Groucho Marx] No substitutions, exchanges or refunds!
Genie
There are a few provisos, a couple of quid-pro-quos. Rule number one: I can't kill anybody. Bleurk! So don't ask. Rule number two: I can't make anybody fall in love with anybody else. You little punim there! Rule number three: I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture, I DON'T LIKE DOING IT! Other than that, you got it.
Genie
Are you lookin' at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And all of a sudden, you're walkin' out on me?! I don't think so, not right now! YOU'RE GETTIN' YOUR WISHES, SO SIDDOWN!!
Genie
In case of emergency, the exits are here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, anywhere! Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet. Weeee'rrrrrreee...outta here!
Genie
Thank you for chosing Magic Carpet for all your travel needs! Don't stand till the rug has come to a complete stop. Thank you! Good-bye now! Good-bye! Good-bye! Thank you! Good-bye! WELL, AL! How about that, Mr. Doubting Mustafa?
Genie
Well I feel sheepish. All right, you ba-a-a-ad boy, but no more freebies.
Genie