Quotes from the Movie It Happened One Night

In a pig's eye, you will!...Hey listen monkey face, when you fired me, you fired the best newshound your filthy scandal sheet ever had...That was free verse, you gashouse palooka!

Peter Warne

Oh, so you're changing your tune, eh? You're a little late with your apologies. I wouldn't go back to work for you if you begged me on your hands and knees. And I hope this will be a lesson to you.

Peter Warne

I never did like the idea of sitting on newspaper. I did it once, and all the headlines came off on my white pants. On the level! It actually happened. Nobody bought a paper that day. They just followed me around over town and read the news on the seat of my pants.

Peter Warne

Now listen, I put up a stiff fight for that seat. So if it's just the same to you - scram!

Peter Warne

Am I laughing? The biggest scoop of the year just dropped in my lap. I know where Ellen Andrews is...How would you like to have the story, you big tub of mush...Will try and get it. What I said about never writing another line for you still goes. Are you burning? PETER WARNE

Peter Warne

Now that's my whole plot in a nutshell. A simple story for simple people. If you behave yourself, I'll see that you get to King Westley. If not, I'll just have to spill the beans to Papa.

Peter Warne

Perhaps you're interested in how a man undresses. You know, it's a funny thing about that. Quite a study in psychology. No two men do it alike. You know, I once knew a man who kept his hat on until he was completely undressed. Now he made a picture. Years later, his secret came out. He wore a toupee. Yeah. I have a method all my own. If you notice, the coat came first, then the tie, then the shirt. Now, uh, according to Hoyle, after that, the, uh, pants should be next. There's where I'm different...

Peter Warne

Don't be a sucker. A good night's rest'll do you a lot of good. Besides, you got nothing to worry about: the walls of Jericho will protect you from the big bad wolf.

Peter Warne

I got a couple of machine guns in my suitcase. I'll let you have one of 'em. May have a little trouble up North. Have to shoot it out with the cops. But if you come through all right, those five G's are as good as in the bag, maybe more. I'll have a talk with the Killer, see that he takes care of ya....yeah, yeah, the big boy, the boss of the outfit. You ever hear of Bugs Dooley?...He was a nice guy, just like you. But he made a big mistake one day. Got a little too talkative. Do you know what happened to his kid?...Well, I can't tell you, but when Bugs heard about it, he blew his brains out.

Peter Warne

There is a brain behind that face of yours, isn't there? You've got everything nicely figured out for yourself.

Ellie Andrews

You think I'm a fool and a spoiled brat. Well, perhaps I am, although I don't see how I can be. People who are spoiled are accustomed to having their own way. I never have. On the contrary. I've always been told what to do, and how to do it, and when, and with whom. Would you believe it? This is the first time I've ever been alone with a man!...It's a wonder I'm not panic-stricken...Nurses, governesses, chaperones, even bodyguards. Oh, it's been a lot of fun.

Ellie Andrews

I admit I'm licked. But it's only because I'm worried. If I don't find her soon, I'll go crazy...if she returns, I won't interfere with your marriage.

Mr. Andrews

That guy Warne is OK. He didn't want the reward. All he asked for was $39.60, what he spent on you. Said it was a matter of principle. You took him for a ride. He loves you Ellie. He told me so. You don't want to be married to a mug like Westley. I can buy him off for a pot of gold. And you can make an old man happy and you won't do so bad for yourself. If you change your mind, your car's waiting back at the gate.

Mr. Andrews

We're wasting our time. Can you imagine Ellie Andrews riding on a bus?

Detective

Shapeley's the name - and that's the way I like 'em!

Shapeley