Quotes from the Movie Liar Liar

I'm so glad my gift could bring them closer together. My plan to completely phase myself out is almost complete!

Fletcher Reede

Where would Tina Turner be right now if she'd rolled over and said, "Hit me again, Ike, and put some stank on it!"? Rollin' on the river, that's where she'd be. But she's beyond Thunderdome, because she decided to send a message? Wake up, sisters! There is nooooooo such thing as a weaker sex!

Fletcher Reede

Jerry? Enjoy my wife? Eh? Ahhh!

Fletcher Reede

It was me!

Fletcher Reede

Oh God, how am I going to get out of this? Think...Think Oww-ee Oww-ee!

Fletcher Reede

What is WRONG with me? I'm getting what I deserve. I'm reaping what I sow. I'm...

Fletcher Reede

I've had better!?

Fletcher Reede

The pen is blue! The pen is blue! The Goddamn pen is blue!

Fletcher Reede

Why don't you go play in the office a minute. Sue someone for everything they've got. Maybe you send a fax to one of your girlfriends!

Fletcher Reede

The fact that my client has been ridden more than Seattle Slew is irrelevant.

Fletcher Reede

Audrey, good news, both my legs are broken so they can't take me straight to jail.

Fletcher Reede

I CAN'T LIE!!!!!

Fletcher Reede

*holding a blue pen* The color of the pen is re-, the color of the pen is re-... THE COLOR OF THE PEN THAT I HOLD IN MY HAND IS RE- ROYAL BLUE!

Fletcher Reede

I wish for just one day, dad couldn't tell a lie.

Max Reede