Witty Quotes

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Derek Bok

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.

Rene Descartes

Plurality is not to be posited without necessity.

William of Ockham

A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.

Irvin S. Cobb

Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.

Francis Bacon

Your wit makes others witty.

Catherine II of Russia; Catherine the Great

We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that the savage has, because we know how it is made. We have lost as much as we gained by prying into that matter.

Samuel Langhorne Clemens

The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.

Samuel Langhorne Clemens

The Afghan War has clearly reached a stage similar to that moment at your child's party where you realise you've forgotten to give the other parents a pick up time.

Jeremy Hardy

The world gets grimy and the love object is in stark relief from its surroundings. This is love, a pretty thing on an ugly street and why wouldn't you pick it up if it appeared in a taxi cab.

Daniel Handler

Being called close-minded by religious people is a bit like being called yellow by a bunch of bananas.

Patrick Condell

...Theres a romance to danger. Theres a romance to drinking, to drugs, to petty crime and to heartbreak and loneliness. All of those things can be used to make the STORY of our lives better.

Joey Comeau

While skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad.

Stephen Tyrone Colbert

No one rises so high as he who knows not whither he is going.

Oliver Cromwell
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