You should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
Sex is the last refuge of the miserable
Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses
Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.
An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.
In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis.
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
For an introvert his environment is himself and can never be subject to startling or unforeseen change.
A gentleman doesn't pounce he glides. If a woman sits on a piece of furniture which permits your sitting beside her, you are free to regard this as an invitation, though not an unequivocal one.
For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.
The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress.
Los Angeles is just New York lying down.
Living en famille provides the strongest motives for rudeness combined with the maximum opportunity for displaying it.