Somebody once wrote: 'Hell is the impossibility of reason.' That's what this place feels like. Hell.
Well, here I am, anonymous all right. With guys nobody really cares about. They come from the end of the line, most of 'em. Small towns you never heard of: Pulaski, Tennessee; Brandon, Mississippi; Pork Van, Utah; Wampum, Pennsylvania. Two years' high school's about it, maybe if they're lucky a job waiting for them back at a factory, but most of 'em got nothing. They're poor, they're the unwanted, yet they're fighting for our society and our freedom. It's weird, isn't it? They're the bottom of the barrel and they know it. Maybe that's why they call themselves grunts, cause a grunt can take it, can take anything. They're the best I've ever seen, Grandma. The heart & soul.
Maybe I finally found it, way down here in the mud. Maybe from down here I can start up again, be something I can be proud of, without having to fake it, be a fake human being.
Day by day I struggle to maintain not only my strength but also my sanity. It's all a blur. I have no energy to write. I don't know what's right or wrong anymore. The morale of the men is low, a civil war in the platoon. Half the men with Elias, half with Barnes. There's a lot of suspicion and hate. I can't believe we're fighting each other, when we should be fighting them.
The village, which had stood for maybe a thousand years, didn't know we were coming that day. If they had, they would've run. Barnes was the eye of our rage. And through him, our captain Ahab, we would set things right again. That day we loved him.
I think now, looking back, we did not fight the enemy, we fought ourselves, and the enemy was in us. The war is over for me now, but it will always be there, the rest of my days. As I'm sure Elias will be, fighting with Barnes for what Rhah calls "possesion of my soul." There are times since, I've felt like a child, born of those two fathers. But be that as it may, those who did make it have an obligation to build again. To teach to others what we know, and to try with whats left of our lives to find a goodness and a meaning to this life.
Take the pain! Take it!
What's the matter boy? He ain't gonna bite you. That's a good gook, good and dead.
You talking about killing? Hmm? Y'all experts? Y'all know about killing? I'd like to hear about it, potheads. Are you smoking this shit so's to escape from reality? Me, I don't need this shit. I am reality. There's the way it ought to be, and there's the way it is. Elias was full of shit. Elias was a crusader. Now, I got no fight... with any man who does what he's told. But when he don't, the machine breaks down. And when the machine breaks down, we break down. And I ain't gonna allow that... in any of you. Not one. Y'all love Elias. Oh, you wanna kick ass. Yeah. Well, here I am, all by my lonesome. And there ain't nobody gonna know. Six of you boys against me. Kill me. Huh. I shit on all of you.
Death, what do you all know about death?
I love this place at night. The stars... there's no right or wrong in them. They're just there.
Police up your spare rounds and frags. Don't leave nothin' for the dinks.
What do ya say there LT?
Rejoice O young man in thy youth... - Ecclesiastes
What are they doing over there? They're gettin' high, that's what.
This is bad, man. I've got bad vibes here.
He said he was hit in a bombing raid.
Free your mind, your ass will follow.