I can do anything, I'm the chief of police.
Come here. Give us a kiss...'Cause I need it.
I'm tellin' ya, the crime rate in New York will kill ya. There's so many problems, you never feel like you're accomplishing anything. Violence, rip-offs, muggings. The kids can't leave the house. You gotta walk 'em to school. But in Amity, one man can make a difference. In twenty-five years, there's never been a shooting or a murder in this town.
"Slow ahead." I can go slow ahead. Come on down here and chum some of this shit. [the shark suddenly appears, causing Brody to recoil in shock] You're gonna need a bigger boat.
Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish! Not like going down to the pond and chasing bluegills and tommycod. This shark, swallow ya whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back the tourists, that'll put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant! I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.
Here's to swimming with bow-legged women.
You got city hands, Hooper... 'been countin' money all your life.
Front - bow, back - stern. Ya get it wrong, squirt, I'll throw your ass out the little round window in the side.
Break it up, will ya, Chief. Daylight's wasting...Come on, Chief. This isn't no Boy Scout picnic. See you got your rubbers! Ha, ha, ha.
What are you, some kind of half-assed astronaut?
Don't you tell me my business again.
I was in Boston... St. Patty's Day, celebratin me third wife's demeese...
I entered an arm wrestling tournament.... now, you see this arm, Mr. Hooper? I can't extend it anymore, because I made it to the semifinals and this big Chinaman took me riiiiiiiiiiight over....."
Ah, the missus, Chief. If they don't like you going out, they'll love you comin' in.
Here lies the body of Mary McGee. Died at the age of a hundred and three. For fifteen years, she kept her virginity. Not a bad record for this vicinity.
Stop playin' with yourself, Hooper.
Your husband's fine, Mrs. Brody. He's fishing. He's just caught a couple of stripers. We'll bring 'em in for dinner. We won't be long, we haven't seen anything yet. Over and out.
Hooper, ya idiot. Starboard. Aint you watchin' it?
Back home we got taxidermy man...he gonna have a heart attack when he see what I brung him - ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa!.
He can't go down with three barrels...not with three barrels on he can't.
You know those eight guys in the fantail launch out there? Well, none of 'em are gonna get out of the harbor alive.
The torso has been severed in mid-thorax. There are no major organs remaining...The right arm has been severed above the elbow with massive tissue loss in the upper musculature...Partially denuded bone remaining. This was no boat accident. [To Brody] Did you notify the Coast Guard about this?...The left arm, head to shoulders, sternum and portions of the rib cage are intact...[He holds up the bluish, severed left arm/hand, with rings still on fingers, of the shark attack victim.] This is what happens. It indicates the non-frenzied feeding of a large squalis... Now, the enormous amount of tissue loss prevents any detailed analysis. However, the attacking squalis must be considerably larger than any normal squalis found in these waters....Well, this is not a boat accident, and it wasn't any propeller, it wasn't any coral reef, and it wasn't Jack the Ripper. It was a shark.
What I am saying is that it may not be the shark. It's just a slight - it's a difference in semantics that I don't want to get beaten up for.
Martin, there are all kinds of sharks in the waters, you know. Hammerheads, white tips, blues, makos, and the chances that these bozos got the exact shark...it's a hundred to one...a hundred to one. Now I'm not saying that this is not the shark. It probably is, Martin, it probably is. It's a maneater, it's extremely rare for these waters. But the fact is that the bite radius on this animal is different from the wounds on the victim. I just...I wanna be sure. You wanna be sure. We all want to be sure, OK?
Mary Ellen Moffat. She broke my heart.