Okay. But you keep those dinky toys out of my hair and away from this plane for 15 minutes, maybe less. I'll DRIVE it out.
Joe Patroni
I'll be back in time if I have to pull that plane out with my teeth!
Joe Patroni
Hold the whipped cream; I just had a dessert.
Joe Patroni
Aww, a tractor-trailer jack-knifed and flipped over. It's laying on its side like a drunken dinosaur.
Joe Patroni
My late husband played the violin. Not professionally, but he was very good. He once played the Minute Waltz in 58 seconds.
Ada Quonsett
When you get to be older, there isn't a lot left to be frightened of.
Ada Quonsett
How you can live with that overage juvenile deliquent, I'll never know.
Mel Bakersfeld
Thanks for caring, Mel. Don't worry. Someday he'll come home for some other reason than to just change his clothes.
Sarah Bakersfeld Demerest
My late husband taught me to be thorough. He was a teacher of geometry. He always said: "You must consider every angle".
Ada Quonsett
My late husband was a lawyer, and he always said: "Watch out for sweet-looking innocent, little old ladies." I'm beginning to understand what he meant.
Tanya Livingston
The sudden decompression at 30,000 feet is something you gotta see to believe.
Joe Patroni
So will anyone sittin' next to him. Until that pressure equalizes, everything within 20 feet of him that's not nailed down or strapped in is gonna get sucked right out of that hole.
Joe Patroni
Yeah, I'm sure. When I was a mechanic in the Air Force, I was being transferred on a MATS plane. At 20,000 feet, one of the windows shattered. The guy sitting next to it was about 170 pounds. He went through that little space like a hunk of hamburger going down a disposal, and right after him coats, pillows, blankets, cups, saucers. Yeah, I'm sure.
Joe Patroni
3, 4 or 5, depends on the size of the hole. Everything fogs up just like that. [Snaps fingers] And THEN watch out! At that altitude, you can't breathe. So unless they get on oxygen in 45 seconds, it's good-bye!
Joe Patroni