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News Quotations
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~ False history gets made all day, any day,the truth of the new is never on the news. ~


~ If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed. ~


~ Every news organization should ideally be as broadly representative as possible. ~


~ It is not true that virtually all news in a totalitarian state is false. ~


~ Media: 99,99% of what happens is not on the news ~


~ t’s hard to believe that in the greatest democracy in the world, we need legislation to prevent the government from writing and paying for the news. ~


~ The American people deserve to know that they're not just watching the administration's spin on their local newscasts -- they're paying for it, too. ~


~ Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They don’t know they’re being funny. ~


~ News is important information that may influence your investments. Noise is talk or buzz or some headline that prevents you from seeing a story clearly. News is useful. Noise is a distraction. Calling what's noise and news after the fact is easy. ~


~ News, news, news - that is what we want. You cannot beat news in a newspaper. ~


~ Don't overstate Fox News. It's still much smaller than the least of the network niches. ~


~ When you're watching the news, how many days in a row can you watch that and feel good about yourself and the world? ~


~ For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't… you know, it's interesting. I think we don't make things up. We just distill it to, hopefully, its most humorous nugget. And in that sense it seems faked and skewed just because we don't have to be subjective or pretend to be objective. We can just put it out there. ~


~ I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves. ~


~ But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with… at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even. ~


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