A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.
Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.
The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.
Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back
Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings
For the parents of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown into innings
You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make.
Nothing is as embarrassing as watching your boss do something you assured him couldn't be done.
Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.
Gossip, n.: Hearing something you like about someone you don't.
Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but it was the man who invented the meter who made the money.