Lenny Bruce Quotes

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

Lenny Bruce

If Jesus had been killed 20 years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

Lenny Bruce

Let me tell you the truth. The truth is what is, and what should be is a fantasy. A terrible, terrible lie that someone gave to the people long ago.

Lenny Bruce

Take away the right to say "fuck" and you take away the right to say "fuck the government."

Lenny Bruce

A Jew, in the dictionary, is one who is descended from the ancient tribes of Judea, or one who is regarded as a descendant from that tribe. That's what it says in the dictionary, but you and I know what a Jew is: One Who Killed Our Lord... there should be a statute of limitations for that crime.

Lenny Bruce

In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls.

Lenny Bruce

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