Quotes from the Movie Evan Almighty

I feel like that old Indian in front of all the garbage. So, for the last time, this is Evan Baxter for Eyewitness News. Goodnight.

Evan Baxter

Okay that is over. I am successful, I am powerful, I am handsome, and I am happy. Sucessful, powerful, handsome- [Looks into rearview, and sees God in the back seat, having just appeared out of nowhere] Happy!

Evan Baxter

Officer! Officer! Carjacker, carjacker in the car! Carjacker in the car!

Evan Baxter

Ever hear of Home Depot!?

Evan

Hey!!! Hey!! Hey!!!! (Pounds on window then runs outside) Whoa whoa whoa. What is going on?!

Evan

No I am sorry that's not mine. I didn't order that!

Evan

Hey wait!!! Listen!!! We're 4:16 not 6:14!!! You got the wrong house!!!! You can't leave that there!!!! (The mailman waves goodbye from the truck as it exits the driveway) LISTEN!!!!*** LISTEN!!!!*** THAT'S GONNA LEAVE A BROWN PATCH!!!!*** I AM A U.S. CONGRESSMAN!!!!!****

Evan

No no. It can't end this way. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR A LITTLE PRECIPITATION!?

Evan

If that's true, I am going to be so pissed.

Evan

No. There's something else. Something's going to happen. I can feel it.

Evan

Okay this conversation is a little thing I'd like to call over but I have to get going because supposedly I have an ark to build. Nice to meet ya..

Evan

In case you ask I am going through adult puberty. This is temporary...why did you summon me? What is so important?

Evan

I cannot shave Marty. If I shave it just grows back.

Evan

You have no idea...

Evan

No. No. I believe you. But why me?

Evan

Do we have anything unleavened?

Evan

I know, I know. Everything you do, you do because you love me.

Evan

I command thee halt! Stop! Woah! (Nothing happens) How about a little help here?!

Evan

Let's finish this sucker.

Evan

You knew it all along, didn't you? You knew the dam was unstable. If it hadn't been for the ark, my family, the neighbors... I fought you every step of the way.

Evan

So you had nothing to do with the flood? Like where the ark landed exactly?

Evan

Marty. Sorry I am late. Come on let's go!

Evan

I am making lemonade out of lemons. Pick up your phone and let's go!

Evan

Why do you sound like Evan Baxter but look like a Bee Gee?

Rita Daniels

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