Quotes from the Movie A Christmas Story

Some men are Baptists, others Catholics; my father was an Oldsmobile man.

Narrator

Now, I had heard that word at least ten times a day from my old man. He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master.

Narrator

Now, I had heard that word at least ten times a day from my old man. He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master.

Narrator

Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap. Though my personal preference was for Lux, I found that Palmolive had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor - heavy, but with a touch of mellow smoothness.

Narrator

Scut Farkus! What a rotten name! There he stood, between us and the alley. Scut Farkus staring out at us with his yellow eyes. He had yellow eyes! So, help me, God! Yellow eyes!

Narrator

Let's face it, most of us are scoffers. But moments before zero hour, it did not pay to take chances.

Narrator

I left Flick to certain annihilation. But BB gun mania knows no loyalty.

Narrator

My old man's spare tires were only actually tires in the academic sense. They were round and had once been made of rubber.

Narrator

With as much dignity as he could muster, the Old Man gathered up the sad remains of his shattered Major Award. Later that night, alone in the backyard, he buried it next to the garage. Now I could never be sure, but I thought that I heard the sound of "Taps" being played. Gently.

Narrator

The heavenly aroma still hung in the house. But it was gone, all gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches! No turkey salad! No turkey gravy! Turkey Hash! Turkey a la King! Or gallons of turkey soup! Gone, ALL GONE!

Narrator

Was there no end to this conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Red Ryder and his Peacemaker?

Narrator

We plunged into the cornucopia quivering with desire and the ecstasy of unbridled avarice.

Narrator

You used up all the glue on purpose!

Mr. Parker

That son of a bitch would freeze up in the middle of summer on the equator!

Mr. Parker

Oh for cripes sake open up the damper will ya? Who the hell turned it all the way down? AGAIN!

Mr. Parker
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