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~ Americans are so enamored of equality that they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom. ~
~ American women expect to find in their husbands a perfection that English women only hope to find in their butlers ~
~ Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. ~
~ The impulse of the American woman to geld her husband and castrate her sons is very strong. ~
~ A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote in a national election ~
~ American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced ~
~ Whatever else an American believes or disbelieves about himself, he is absolutely sure he has a sense of humor ~
~ America is a land of big dreamers and big hopes. It is this hope that has sustained us through revolution and civil war, depression and world war, a struggle for civil and social rights and the brink of nuclear crisis. And it is because our dreamers dreamed that we have emerged from each challenge more united, more prosperous, and more admired than before. ~
~ That is the true genius of America, a faith in the simple dreams of its people, the insistence on small miracles. That we can say what we think, write what we think, without hearing a sudden knock on the door. That we can have an idea and start our own business without paying a bribe or hiring somebody's son. That we can participate in the political process without fear of retribution, and that our votes will be counted -- or at least, most of the time. ~
~ If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer. ~
~ I ask that all Americans demonstrate in their personal and public lives...the high ethical standards that are essential to good character and to the continued success of our nation. ~
~ Americans can eat garbage, provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup, mustard, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, or any other condiment which destroys the original flavor of the dish ~
~ Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so. ~
~ Americans ... still believe in an America where anything's possible -- they just don't think their leaders do. ~
~ The true test of the American ideal is whether we’re able to recognize our failings and then rise together to meet the challenges of our time. Whether we allow ourselves to be shaped by events and history, or whether we act to shape them. Whether chance of birth or circumstance decides life’s big winners and losers, or whether we build a community where, at the very least, everyone has a chance to work hard, get ahead, and reach their dreams. ~
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