Funny quotes Quotes

Took cover. In the action business, when you don't want to say you ran like a mouse, you call it 'taking cover.' It's more heroic.

Jim Butcher

The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.

Ellery Queen

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.

Unknown

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote in a national election

Bill Vaughn

Boobs are near the center of the universe, until you turn twenty-five or so. Which is also when young mens auto insurance rates go down. This is not a coincidence.

Jim Butcher

As a whole, people suck, but a person can be extraordinary.

Jim Butcher

We're all human. We're all of us equally naked before the jaws of pain.

Jim Butcher

Its not my fault all women like motorcycles, Murph. Theyre basically huge vibrators. With wheels.

Jim Butcher

Children always know when company is in the living room - they can hear their mother laughing at their father's jokes

Unknown

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.

Fred Astaire

Babies are such a nice way to start people

Don Herold

Some guy hit my car fender the other day, and I said unto him, \\\"Be fruitful and multiply.\\\" But not in those words.

Woody Allen

I was so surprised at being born that I didn

Grace Ethel Cecile Rosalie Allen

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Woody Allen

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Woody Allen

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

Woody Allen

Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?

George Denis Patrick Carlin

I'm pretty sure there's no Nobel prize for pornography.

Jim Butcher

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

Samuel Langhorne Clemens

The funniest things are the forbidden.

Samuel Langhorne Clemens

The Internet will be the evolutionary mechanism that allows us to play an eternal game of intelligence Leap-Frog. I look forward to leap frogging with you.

Tony Buzan

Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka.

Jim Butcher

There is, I think, humor here which does not translate well from English into sanity.

Jim Butcher

Tonight you will be visited by three spirits, the ghosts of indictment past, present and future. They will teach you the true meaning of 'you are still a scumbag criminal.

Jim Butcher

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Updated On : February 20, 2014
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