Funny quotes Quotes

Took cover. In the action business, when you don't want to say you ran like a mouse, you call it 'taking cover.' It's more heroic.

Jim Butcher

Some guy hit my car fender the other day, and I said unto him, \\\"Be fruitful and multiply.\\\" But not in those words.

Woody Allen

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Woody Allen

Boobs are near the center of the universe, until you turn twenty-five or so. Which is also when young mens auto insurance rates go down. This is not a coincidence.

Jim Butcher

As a whole, people suck, but a person can be extraordinary.

Jim Butcher

Tonight you will be visited by three spirits, the ghosts of indictment past, present and future. They will teach you the true meaning of 'you are still a scumbag criminal.

Jim Butcher

The funniest things are the forbidden.

Samuel Langhorne Clemens

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Woody Allen

We're all human. We're all of us equally naked before the jaws of pain.

Jim Butcher

Its not my fault all women like motorcycles, Murph. Theyre basically huge vibrators. With wheels.

Jim Butcher

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

Samuel Langhorne Clemens

The Internet will be the evolutionary mechanism that allows us to play an eternal game of intelligence Leap-Frog. I look forward to leap frogging with you.

Tony Buzan

Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka.

Jim Butcher

There is, I think, humor here which does not translate well from English into sanity.

Jim Butcher

I'm pretty sure there's no Nobel prize for pornography.

Jim Butcher

12 Things Happy People Do Differently

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Updated On : February 20, 2014
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