Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
There are two kinds of light - the glow that illumines, and the glare that obscures.
There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else
All men kill the thing they hate, too, unless, of course, it kills them first.
It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty-eight and forty.
The past is an old armchair in the attic, the present an ominous ticking sound, and the future is anybody's guess
Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.
Human Dignity has gleamed only now and then and here and there, in lonely splendor, throughout the ages, a hope of the better men, never an achievement of the majority.
The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals
Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.
Let us not look back to the past with anger, nor towards the future with fear, but look around with awareness
The appreciative smile, the chuckle, the soundless mirth, so important to the success of comedy, cannot be understood unless one sits among the audience and feels the warmth created by the quality of laughter that the audience takes home with it.
Comedy has to be done en clair. You can't blunt the edge of wit or the point of satire with obscurity. Try to imagine a famous witty saying that is not immediately clear.
All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.