The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish
Forget your opponents; always play against par.
If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death
These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
Never let up. The more you can win by, the more doubts you put in the other players' minds the next time out
The greens are harder than a whore's heart
Thinking instead of acting is the number-one golf disease
Golf is played with the arms
You've just one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you've hit it.
Until you play it, St. Andrews looks like the sort of real estate you couldn't give away
The fairways were so narrow you had to walk down them single file
Nobody asked how you looked, just what you shot
The only reason I played golf was so that I could afford to go hunting and fishing