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Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.



It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of supersophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.



Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.



I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food.



A grandmother pretends she doesnít know who you are on Halloween.



There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.



It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.



Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.



Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated



A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.



I have been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I have lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.



A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.



I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food.



No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.



House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.








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