Quotes from the Movie Big Trouble in Little China

Everybody relax, I'm here.

Jack Burton

Okay, you people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn . . . call the president.

Jack Burton

I was born ready.

Jack Burton

Could you stop rubbing your body up against mine? 'Cause I can't concentrate when you do that.

Jack Burton

Jack what? I'm supposed to buy this shit? 2000 years and you can't find one broad to fit the bill? Come on Dave, you must be doing something seriously wrong here!

Jack Burton

This is Jack Burton in the Porkchop Express and I'm talkin' to whoever's listening out there.

Jack Burton

Like I told my last wife, I said, "Honey, I never drive faster than I can see. Besides it's all in the reflexes."

Jack Burton

Son of a bitch must pay!

Jack Burton

What does that mean, huh? "China is here"? I don't even know what the hell that means!

Jack Burton

Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, "Give me your best shot. I can take it."

Jack Burton

We really shook the pillars of heaven, didn't we, Wang?

Jack Burton

Hey, I'm a reasonable guy. But I've just experienced some very unreasonable things.

Jack Burton

I feel good, and I'm not scared at all. I just feel kind of . . . kind of invincible . . . Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?

Jack Burton

Ol' Jack always says . . . what the hell.

Jack Burton

Now I'm not saying that I've been everywhere and I've done everything, but I do know it's a pretty amazing planet we live on, and a man would have to be some kind of FOOL to think we're all alone in THIS universe.

Jack Burton

Tall guy, weird clothes. First you see him then you don't.

Jack Burton

This is going to take crackerjack timing, Wang.

Jack Burton

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

Jack Burton

All I know is that this Lo Pan character comes out of thin air in the middle of a goddamn alley, while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds, and he just STANDS there, waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him, with LIGHT coming out of his mouth?

Jack Burton

Okay, I get the picture White Tigers, Lords of Death, guys in funny suits throwing plastic explosives while poison arrows fall from the sky and the pillars of heaven shake, huh? Sure, okay, I see Charlie Chan, Fu Manchu and a hundred howlin' monkey temples, and that's just for starters, right? Fine! I'm back! I'm ready, goddammit let me at 'em!

Jack Burton

I'm gonna tell you about an accident, and I don't wanna hear "act of God"!

Jack Burton

Lo Pan? Which Lo Pan? The little old basket case on wheels or the ten foot tall roadblock?

Jack Burton

Are you crazy? Is that your problem?

Jack Burton

We made it. Holy shit, we made it!

Jack Burton

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