I go up and down the scale so often that if they ever perform an autopsy on me they will find me like a strip of bacon - a streak of lean and a streak of fat.
Texas Guinan
Bigger snacks mean bigger slacks.
Unknown
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Unknown
I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have dÈmode voe.
Jane Wagner
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
Author Unknown
I have a great diet.†You are allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.
Ed Bluestone
Dieters live life in the fasting lane
Author Unknown
People say that losing weight is no walk in the park.†When I hear that I think, yeah, that is the problem.
Chris Adams
To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
Mark Twain
I have been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I have lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
Erma Bombeck
My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as much as you like - just do not swallow it.
Harry Secombe
They are sick that surfeit with too much, as they that starve with nothing.
William Shakespeare
We never repent of having eaten too little.
Thomas Jefferson