Weight Quotes

I go up and down the scale so often that if they ever perform an autopsy on me they will find me like a strip of bacon - a streak of lean and a streak of fat.

Texas Guinan

Bigger snacks mean bigger slacks.


A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.


I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have dÈmode voe.

Jane Wagner

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Author Unknown

You know it is time to diet when you push away from the table and the table moves

Cockle Bur

If food is your best friend, it is also your worst enemy.

Edward Grandpa

I have a great diet.† You are allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.

Ed Bluestone

Dieters live life in the fasting lane

Author Unknown

People say that losing weight is no walk in the park.† When I hear that I think, yeah, that is the problem.

Chris Adams

To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.

Mark Twain

I have been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I have lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Erma Bombeck

My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as much as you like - just do not swallow it.

Harry Secombe

They are sick that surfeit with too much, as they that starve with nothing.

William Shakespeare

We never repent of having eaten too little.

Thomas Jefferson
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