I have decided that perhaps I am bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.
In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and cahins.† Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale.
Reality check: you can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight. At your goal weight or not, you still have to live with yourself and deal with your problems. You will still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same life. Losing weight is not a cure for life.
If nature had intended our skeletons to be visible it would have put them on the outside of our bodies.
I have been on a diet for two weeks and all I have lost is fourteen days.
Forget love ñ I would rather fall in chocolate.
Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.
No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.
Life itself is the proper binge.
I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.
I am allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.
I think I just ate my willpower.
If you really want to be depressed, weigh yourself in grams.
Dieting is not a piece of cake.
The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you are off it.
People say that losing weight is no walk in the park.† When I hear that I think, yeah, that is the problem.
As for food, half of my friends have dug their graves with their teeth.
Forget about calories -everything makes thin people thinner, and fat people fatter.
Clogged with yesterday's excess, the body drags the mind down with it
It would be far easier to lose weight permanently if replacement parts weren't so handy in the refrigerator.
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.
Not afraid of heights - afraid of widths.
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