Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
Rich, fatty foods are like destiny: they too, shape our ends.
Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate!
Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us
The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humor.
Food is like sex: when you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.
Life itself is the proper binge
I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.
Dieting is wishful shrinking
It is a hard matter, my fellow citizens, to argue with the belly, since it has no ears.
I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.
Food has replaced sex in my life; now, I can't even get into my own pants.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have déjà vu.
You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut.
I think I just ate my willpower.
If you really want to be depressed, weigh yourself in grams.
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
You know it's time to diet when you push away from the table and the table moves.
I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.
Dieters live life in the fasting lane.
People say that losing weight is no walk in the park. When I hear that I think, yeah, that's the problem.
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