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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.
It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.
Leave sooner, drive slower, live longer.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
Modern technology
Owes ecology
An apology.
The longest journey begins with a single step, not with a turn of the ignition key
No one should be able to enter a wilderness by mechanical means.
If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.
Anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
The speedway ends at the cemetery.
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.
The civilized man has built a coach, but has lost the use of his feet.
A pedestrian is someone who thought there were a couple of gallons left in the tank.
Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.
Your grandchildren will likely find it incredible - or even sinful - that you burned up a gallon of gasoline to fetch a pack of cigarettes!
Hug your kids at home, but belt them in the car.
Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.
When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio. If all the stations are rock and roll, there's a good chance the transmission is shot.
Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
A commuter tie-up consists of you - and people who for some reason won't use public transit.
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