Golf Quotes :: Finest Quotes

The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes

Michael Green

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.

Paul Gallico

It's easy to see golf not as a game at all but as some whey-faced, nineteenth-century Presbyterian minister's fever dream of exorcism achieved through ritual and self-mortification.

Bruce McCall

Forget your opponents; always play against par.

Sam Snead

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is

Horace G. Hutchinson

They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.

Gardner Dickinson

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies

Will Rogers

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death

Sam Snead

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

William Wordsworth

What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive.

Arnold Palmer

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

Phyllis Diller

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick

P.J. O\'Rourke

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.

Dean Martin

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Mark Twain

They throw their clubs backwards, and that's wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don't have to walk any extra distance to get it.

Tommy Bolt

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.

Joey Adams

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

Miller Barber and Lee Trevino

Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks

Henry Beard

In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base.

Ken Harrelson

If I can hit a curveball, why can't I hit a ball that is standing still on a course?

Larry Nelson

Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom.

Michael Green

A passion, an obsession, a romance, a nice acquaintanceship with trees, sand, and water.

Bob Ryan

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass

Bob Hope

I'd play every day if I could. It's cheaper than a shrink and there are no telephones on my golf cart.

Brent Musburger

Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course

Lee Trevino

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